Stuffed Beavers Match Reports 2009

The Stuffed Beavers has trouble staying on their feet in 2009

2009 was an amazing year for the Beavers - we lost the lot!

Our complete record was as follows

Tosses (as opposed to Tossers) Played 5 Lost 5

Matches Played 5 Lost 5

Bowl Offs (for the Fat Ho Bowl) Played 1 Lost 1

Boat Races Played 1 Lost One

To enjoy the full gamut of this sporting disaster read on -

Day One - Beavers vs Ios Malakas

Skipper Nige took to the field full of hope and played the definitive captain's innings

Now where were we? Oh yes – the battle-scarred sporting gladiators of the Stuffed Beavers Cricket Club had dragged themselves from the uncharted waters of the 2008 Spoon Final, carrying an array of ailments that left them looking like a cast of extras from MASH. Players departed to all corners of the globe for 51 weeks of preparation and a commitment to return to Chiang Mai in 2009 in the peak of physical fitness. Saturday 28^th March saw the players reunite at the opening reception and it was quickly apparent that in terms of fitness we were looking at a peak of the dutch variety: Brooker’s broken hand, Nige’s dodgy ankle, Dickster’s wobbly tooth, Adam’s disintegrating back, Barty’s deteriorating knee – it seemed that only Chas was not bringing a ready made excuse to the party. Married life is clearly treating that boy well.

Saturday evening followed a familiar theme: Porn Ping, then Sugar Shack then Jackie’s van, and it was with nearly clear heads that the players convened at the ground to prepare for what is fast becoming the traditional tour opener against the marvellous, albeit maverick, Malakas. The toss was dealt with long before the start, with the SBCC to bat first. The names went into the hat and Niki, in her first appearance at the sixes, did the honours of the draw: Nige & Dicky to open, followed by Adam, Chris, Chas and Barty, with Poohie drawing the role of chief photographer.

Warm-up nets was the usual mixed bag ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, interrupted by negotiations on sound systems and other such technical niceties relating to the team’s expanded role as chief roadie to the tournament. A quick team talk for which everyone actually stayed (a tournament first) and then it was time for action: Nige & Dicky took to the crease and we were underway: a first ball single put the Dickster on strike, and after a couple of sighters off his pads he produced a daft glance to third man to record the first boundary of the innings.

The repeat attempt was less successful as it clipped his off stump, but we were on our way. The second over saw our star contributor come into his own as the extras total started to move – four or five wides meant it looked like we were going to have a total to defend. Nige and Adam did their best to keep the scoreboard moving but boundaries were hard to find, and a series of hard-run twos quickly had the batsmen calling for the defibrillator. With one ball to go Adam wound up in his best captain caveman style to launch a big one but was out-foxed by Marty and lost his stumps: 61-2 at the close with Nige on 21 not out, failing to match the contribution of the extras.

Still, a potentially defendable total so no cause for disappointment. We were well aware that Marty was the dangerman and if he could be removed cheaply it would be game on. Oh dear. Things started well, with Barty’s looping off-breaks tying up the batsmen, and runs off the bat proving hard to come by. Chas delivered his usual disciplined line although Marty was beginning to connect at this stage. And then the pivotal over – first Chris produed the delivery of the day to flatten Lemon’s stumps, then he fired in a short ball which Marty pulled high wide and not very handsome to square leg, where Nige had plenty of time to position himself for the game-defining catch. So far so good. Sadly, displaying a pair of hands that might have resembled a revenue opportunity for United Dairies, he couldn’t hold on to it and despite a second chance when the ball popped out, it was not to be. Marty continued to swing mightily and the target continued to fall. But then another twist in the tale: Adam produced a cracking outswinger to find Marty’s outside edge and the celebrations began. As it turned out, just a fraction prematurely, as the Dickster forgot to complete the catch before commencing the dance. There were to be no third chances, and a final six over the scoreboard saw the Malakas home.

It was, as ever, no shame losing to this great bunch of guys and equally as ever a pleasure to share a beer with them afterwards. Agreement seems to have been reached on the procurement of the Stuffed Malaka trophy to be competed for on an annual basis so we look forward to many more games and many more parties with the undisputed party kings of the tournament.

A couple of chilled hours by the Manathai pool preceded the inaugural Sa Pa Sunday at Tuskers: outstanding food, a round of Jager Bombs and broad agreement on another trophy: The SBCC / Sa Pa bowl-off. Detailed rules were quickly established and the great event is scheduled for Thursday. Watch this space…..