Sunday 1st April: a significant milestone in the history of the Stuffed Beavers Cricket Club, as they took to the international stage for the first time. In temperatures soaring into the mid thirties, hydration was clearly going to be an important factor – to this end we were fortunate to have the services of Belle, a student at the university of Chiang Mai who kept us supplied in San Miguel as the start time of 4.30 approached. We were also pleased to welcome two new members to the SBCC fold: Chris Billingsley, a 26 year old all rounder from Belfast, and John Dunn, a 66 year old seasoned veteran of the Chiang Mai sixes.

Our opponents were the IOS Malakas, who have themselves been coming to the tournament for the best part of 15 years, and who had played earlier in the day and adopted an even more dedicated approach to hydration. Early signs for the Beavers were encouraging as the Malakas skipper was unable to stand for the toss – it looked like the beer was having an effect on these chaps already. The toss itself went to the Malakas who elected to field, which was satisfactory to all parties as our agreed strategy had been to bat first in any event.

In a slightly bizarre departure from SBCC convention, our guest John had announced where in the line up he was going to both bat and bowl, so the draw for the line up had to be conducted around this unorthodox request. First out of the hat was Chris followed by Chas, with a power house middle order of Matt, Nige and Dicky and John to prop up the tail. With the start time approaching there was a palpable sense of tension in the SBCC marquee as the enormity of our task began to sink in. Chris and Chas strode to the wicket swinging their bats both to loosen the shoulders and send a declaration of intent to the oppo. And so battle commenced. At which point it is important to understand the local rule in relation to wides – no extra delivery, but 4 runs added to the score.

Chris faced the first delivery and carefully watched it go through to the keeper, but his intentions were soon made clear as he launched a massive six over midwicket. He and Chas scampered (in the loosest sense of the word) for ones and twos and the board kept ticking over. Our secret weapon, extras, was a key factor in helping us move towards what we thought was a respectable total. The sight of Chas bent double over his bat after another keenly run two was a reminder of the debilitating effects of both the heat and the whole concept of exercising, but our brave lads stuck to their task and after Chris lost his off stump aiming another lofted drive over the bowlers head, Millers took up the mantle with enthusiasm and, occasionally, bat on ball. The 5th and final over came to a close with Chas, or “Boycs” as he became known during the evening, having carried his bat for a magnificent 7 and Millers unbeaten on 5. Chris’s top score of 11 and a healthy contribution from extras saw us come in on 48 for 1 – all in all a very encouraging debut innings in the tournament.

After a 20 minute break it was back to the pitch and Nige prepared to bowl the first over. He paced his run-up and set an attacking field of two slips and a gully, to the considerable consternation of the Malakas openers. Needless to say it was all bluff, and after the first ball passed harmlessly through to Dicky behind the wicket, the field spread out to try and keep the run rate down and increase the pressure on the batsmen. At which point I must refer you to the earlier comment re the penalty for wides… Nige’s complete inability to bowl straight resulted in 3 wides in the first over, and when he finally managed to send a straight delivery down the wicket it was unceremoniously despatched back over his head for an enormous six. 18 without loss at the end of the first over had put the Malakas firmly in the driving seat and in spite of a much tighter second over from Millers we were always under the cosh from thereon in. Chas lifted SBCC spirits in the 3rd over by sending middle stump cartwheeling out of the ground, but the damage had been done and it was only midway through the 4th over, being bowled by John, when the Malakas clamed the winning single.

Handshakes all round and a swift reconvening at the bar, where we were at least able to be the last to leave the ground. The Malakas are a good bunch of lads, and they joined us at Tuskers for the rest of the evening along with Blythwood CC who we had met earlier in the day. After a slow start to the evening it was trebles all round and a good marker for the rest of the week. Just need to work on bowling straight…..

Day 2 Wombats Vs Beavers

Our opponents today were the Wombats, 20 year veterans of the tournament – a classic case of old meets new. As was pointed out to us when the fixture list was published: “Wombats vs Beavers – you couldn’t make it up!”

It took a while to locate the team after the carnage of the previous evening however we finally reconvened at the luxury D2 hotel and repaired to the less luxurious but more appropriate O’Malley’s Irish pub for a team meeting and a restorative full Irish breakfast. After all, when in Rome……

Onwards to the Gymkhana Club and the urgent application of some beer. The chaps, true professionals that they are, were soon in the nets, working hard on fine tuning their game. On reflection we should maybe focus on the tuning first, and get fine about it at a later date, but you cannot fault the commitment,

The toss was an unorthodox affair – the Earl of Wombatshire, no doubt suffering from the long walk round to our tent, announced that they had never lost a toss in 20 years and were not going to start now – apparently this is a time honoured tradition of the tournament. The SBCC however are no respecters of tradition, so in the glorious art of compromise, a coin was tossed and the Womabts called shortly after it had landed. They elected to bat first.

In a radical development from day 1, John had broken off his patrol of the boundary to agree to be included in the draw rather than dictate his place in the batting, and so the names were drawn by our photographer Mark, whose work will hopefully be displayed on this site very shortly. The draw was kind to Dicky the wickie, sending him in to open the innings with Matt, who had been devoting considerable time and attention to his duties as head of banter. Chas was the third name out of the hat, with Nige at 4, Chris at five, and the last name to be drawn being the one and only John. And this was not even fixed! So far so good, or so we thought. Just as we were all getting into “the zone” it turned out that John was unhappy with the hand that fate had dealt him, and declared that he did not want to bat at six as he was keen to have an innings. In the spirit of team-ness (made up word), and possibly to stop him going on about it, Chas agreed to swap and peace was restored.

And so to the game. Chas completed his stretching exercises just in time to steam in off his 3 pace run and send down a penetrative although ultimately unrewarded first over. Some nifty footwork from Millers in cow corner saved a certain boundary and at the end of the over the Wombats were under pressure at what was for the SBCC a highly creditable 9 for no wicket. The boy Begley had carried his form into day two, and most importantly: no wides!! Up stepped the big man from Belfast to inject further pace into the attack and let the Wombats know they were in a game. The pressure was maintained and despite the lack of wickets. Things were not looking too shabby after two overs. Little did we know… First change is a pivotal role in any form of the game, and Nige with his mix of wides and complete tosh is undoubtedly not the man to fill this role. The board ticked on and suddenly the Wombats were disappearing over the horizon. It was down to Millers to see us home, but the line and length days seem to be a thing of the past. The extras total ticked up to 42 and the Wombats returned to their tent, very happy in the knowledge that they had to defend 77 for 1.

After 20 minutes re-hydration, Dicky and Matt strode to the wicket to launch our chase. A stylish single from the Fordster put Millers on strike with aggression seeping out of every pore. After a brief look at the bowling, he opened his shoulders to launch one over the marquees. Ten out of ten for intent – hit out or get out! In this instance, sadly, it was the latter as a gentle top edge looped into the stomach of the wicket keeper. After a short delay, both the ball and assorted other household items were retrieved and the game could resume.

And so the game itself petered out into a comfortable victory for the Wombats. The Dickster was a rock in defence, breaking Chas’s record the previous day by carrying his bat for 6. John edged and nurdled his way to 11 and our most productive player, extras, saw us through to 46 for 1 and second place.

By the way, correction to Day 1 report, Millers scored a rather impressive 10 in the first game, rather than the slightly pitiful 5 as reported. We therefore forgive him his misfortune in this game.

We repaired to the Wombats tent for post match libation and extended them an invitation to join us in Tuskers Bar. Whilst they were unable to join us this time round, we have no doubt we’ll see them before the end of the week and we were pleased to welcome our neighbours, the Sa Pa’s along with the Divine Felons, The Taranaki Taverners and most importantly, the umpires for another thoroughly enjoyable and hopefully lucrative night for the SBCC clubhouse.

More news tomorrow, however rumour has it that our Northern Irish contingent called it a night at 7.00 am this morning – oh the stamina of youth…

Day 3 vs Gymkhana Cavaliers

Welcome back to the chronicle of the triumph of hope over expectation. Tuesday brought a new sense of belief to the team as our latest ringer, Phil the Kiwi potato farmer, joined the ranks –this promised to add some fire power to all facets of our game.

The day started once again with a quest to locate the rest of the team. Phone calls went through to voicemail and text messages remained unanswered. More by luck than judgement we gathered for lunch by the pool at D2 and learned of Dicky’s experiences that morning with a bath full of yoghurt. Chas and Nige had opted to avail of the services of the blind masseuses in the north of the city, which constituted an hour of pummelling and plenty of yelps of anguish. All this in the cause of being able to raise the bowling arm above shoulder height…. Millers meanwhile had been on a recce to check out the Mandarin Oriental and returned to report that this is, without doubt, the most ostentatious hotel in the world.

Lunch was followed by a trip to the music hire shop and a brief but ultimately futile negotiation for the hire of drums guitars and sound system. The planned jamming session was therefore postponed pending further discussions and maybe a one-off for Friday night.

Next stop was the Gymkhana Club, and preparations for the next match. Things did not start too well as Nige marched up to the wrong tent and introduced himself to the MayThais, notwithstanding the fact that we were not due to play them until Wednesday. On the plus side, we were pleased to welcome Rasta to our tent, having successfully avoided the dog police on the way in. The atmosphere was undoubtedly subdued in the SBCC marquee, due partly to the wish to avoid being talked at by the stuck record that is Dunners, but also because the UN Irish Pub, our immediate neighbours to our right, were conducting a full-on fining session that was ultimately to get through eight bottles of vodka accompanied by an ever-increasing noise level.

The Irish lads, Mark and Chris, were particularly quiet due to their 7am finish after a night at Jackie’s Van, although Chris chose to point the finger of blame at Dicky for introducing the concept of the Gin and Tonic with a G&T chaser. Slowly, the cobwebs were swept aside and eventually there was a move to the nets to limber up for the game ahead. Hope was riding high on the form of Phil, and it was with some nervousness that we watched his first delivery miss the nets completely and disappear into the stream at the back of the club. Nige meanwhile continued to direct the ball in every direction except that of the stumps, and it took the intervention of our friend John from the Wombats to suggest bowling round the wicket, which actually seemed to improve things considerably. Dicky had agreed to hand over the gloves to Matt for the day so took the opportunity to get his eye in with the ball, and when Phil went in for a bat we realised we had a proper cricketer in our midst’s.

The inviolate sanctity of the draw took another pounding as the names came out in a remarkably similar order to those of the previous day, with Matt & Dicky first out of the hat, followed by Chas, Nige and Chris with Phil bringing up the rear. It was quickly agreed to use this as the bowling order and bat through the list form the bottom up.

Nige and Phil set off around the boundary to meet the Gymkhana Cavaliers (we had finally managed to find out who we were playing), and stopped off along the way to pick up some beers to try and bribe them into agreeing to let us bat first. The bribe swiftly disappeared into the Cavaliers’ coolbox, much to the consternation of the SBCC, and matters turned to the toss. The old adage “tails never fails” is proving less reliable as each day passes, and with Nige making it three lost tosses out of three, the SBCC were sent into the field.

And so to the action. Dicky paced out his run and launched into his first over of the tournament. The rustiness was undoubtedly there as two consecutive wides lulled the batsman into a sense of security but then came the Jaffa! Looping in, and yorking the batsman on the second bounce, it was the death rattle and only the second SBCC wicket in the competition! Hopes were sky high at this stage, but a further wide introduced a reality check into proceedings, and the over ended with the Cavaliers on 14 for one.

Fresh from his treatment at the hands of the blind masseuses, Chas prepared to bowl the second over, conscious no doubt that he was the teams most penetrative bowler to date and recognising the need to make further inroads. Sadly, today was not to be his day, which we should maybe have expected based on the grunts of pain that accompanied each delivery he bowled in the nets, and the only “w”s in the scorebook were to be the two wides. Nige was next up with his new round the wicket action which can only be described as a qualified success at best – a couple of straight deliveries, but two wides as well, including the cardinal sin of a wide on the last ball which gave the Cavaliers an extra delivery.

Finally it was the turn of the ringers. Chris took the next over but sadly the effects of Jackie’s Van were still in evidence, and he will no doubt be disappointed with the 4 wides that kept the Cavaliers score heading north. Phil completed proceedings with a mixed bag that carries some promise for the matches to follow. A milestone, however, had been reached as the Cavaliers score was inflated by the substantial contribution of 52 extras. This was impressive enough for the commentator to remark on it over the PA, breaking off from his much appreciated plugs for Tuskers Bar.

The run chase, therefore was 84 to win, and all hopes rested on the shoulders of Phil and Chris, since the tail began with Nige at three. And there was plenty to cheer, as the two big men set about their task with great intent. Suddenly the SBCC discovered the art of scoring boundaries, with Chris hitting two more sixes to add to his one from Sunday, and Phil crossing the rope regularly. The run-rate ultimately proved too big an ask, but Phil signed off the innings in great style by launching a monumental six over midwicket to get us to 67 without loss – 32 to Phil and 22 to Chris. We had outscored the Cavaliers off the bat, but fallen victim once again to our inability to bowl straight. The loss of no wickets, however, earned us a bonus point – our first of the tournament!

Day 4 Beavers vs MayThais

It has been pointed out that the match reports have been too “wordy”. We have apparently spent longer at the computer than we have at the crease. Herewith, therefore, the executive summary:

- Met the MayThais – top boys
- Won the toss!!
- Batted first
- Batting order: Phil, Chas, Nige, Dicky, Chris, Matt
- Couldn’t find the boundary
- 41 for 3 off 5 overs
- Donated 32 in wides (Matt bowled the longest over of the tournament so far)
- Lost in 3 overs, Chris taking the only wicket
- Attended the pig picking
- Fining session at the Riverside – Chris turns out to be the world’s greatest fine-master
- White Lotus for England vs Sri Lanka
- Home (late….)

Day 6 Beavers vs Bangkok Postels

After a day off on Thursday, it was an early start for the SBCC as they prepared for their final match of the Spoon round robin against the Bangkok Postels, which was scheduled for an 11.10 start. Discretion had, for the most part, been the better part of valour the previous evening and it was only Phil who caused some consternation by arriving alarmingly close to the start time; and even this was down to his tuk-tuk driver taking him to the wrong golf club.

Events of the previous day meant that there was no way the SBCC could finish the tournament anything other than bottom of the pile – we woke up with our solitary point from the run chase against the Cavaliers, whereas the teams immediately above us were the Wombats and today’s opponents the Postels who already boasted 7 points each. Safe in the knowledge that our final standing in the tournament was already secure, we were able to set about our task with a new sense of freedom.

The names went into the hat. History cannot record the order they came out, but after a number of negotiations the most experienced trader in the team had moved position in the batting order a number of times and found himself back where he started. On such slim margins can games be won or lost…. Final batting order was settled with Chris taking first strike accompanied by Nige. Millers drew 3 and the acceleration was to be provided by Phil, Dicky and Chas.

Nige and Dicky wandered over to the Postels tent to flip the coin with their enigmatic captain, Cyrus the Virus. Up went the silver piece, somersaulting several times as it climbed towards the roof of our opponents’ tent before reaching its apex and heading back to the grass-trodden floor in an atmosphere of hushed silence. At last the King of Thailand stared back up at the two captains and it was Cyrus who broke the trance-like silence. “We’ll field first”, he said, thereby completing the first call-less toss of our campaign.

Back to the SBCC tent and the distribution of pads and gloves, ready for the innings ahead. Time was called on the preceding game and the openers strode to the crease, with smiting their only objective. Chris took guard and took a careful look at the opening delivery as it passed through to the keeper. Satisfied with what he saw, he opened his shoulders to the second ball, ready to despatch it to the long-on boundary. Sadly intent and execution were not happy bedfellows in this instance and the only dispatching that took place was that of the middle stump. A disappointment in the final innings from the big man from Belfast who had been integral in making the SBCC competitive in earlier games, and the knowledge that a visit from Jenny the duck lady was imminent.

But cometh the hour, cometh the man. Millers arrived at the crease having looked sharp in the nets and took to his task with relish and considerable effect. The boundary always proved hard to reach, but some determined running, egged on by the team and supporters in the tent, kept the board ticking over and a couple of cases of the yips from the Postels meant that extras had another good day for the Beavers. Eventually, at the start of the final over, Nige (or “Boycs” as the SBCC tent called him) drove over a straight one and departed for 7 but with the score having moved on to 65 thanks to the aforementioned yips from the Postels, and some lusty hitting from Matt “Farmer” Millers who found himself unbeaten on 26, with runs having been harvested all around the park. Phil came in for a couple of trademark big hits before being caught on the last ball of the innings, and the Beavers walked back to prepare to defend a highly creditable 79.
The mantra was “No wides – no wides – no wides!”. Chas prepared to get proceedings underway, flexing a particularly uncomfortable left shoulder. A couple of deliveries right on the money were followed by the Jaffa, which flattened middle stump and sparked SBCC celebrations around the ground. The Dickster had bequeathed the gloves to Millers so it was down to him to keep the pressure on after Chas’s over had restricted the Postels to just 7. It took a handful of deliveries for him to find his range and the extras total got on the move to keep the Postels in the game. Phil bowled the third over and was a model of line and length, beating the bat on a couple of occasions and putting the pressure back on. Nige finally managed to locate the middle of the pitch and on the last ball of the 4th over was rewarded by some sharp glove-work from Millers to record the first SBCC stumping of the week and probably, let’s be honest, in the history of the club. Chris put his hangover-induced waywardness of the previous day behind him and bowled an immaculately tight final over to bring the SBCC home with a 20 run margin of victory! Special mention must go to the Dickster for living up to his billing as a gazelle in the field with an outstanding diving stop at deep mid-wicket, which inspired a sharper all-round performance in the fieldA first triumph for the Stuffed Beavers in the Chiang Mai Sixes!!

As is a key part of the tournament it was trebles all round in the SBCC tent, followed by a leisurely day keeping an eye on proceedings in the rest of the tournament, with a particular highlight being Dicky’s stint at the microphone. The evening’s agenda was all about the bar and the band. The Dickster and Millers took to the stage in Tuskers and wowed the crowd with a cracking set of Stones and assorted guest appearances, notably from Bill of the Gipsies and Clive from Romany, a team we hadn’t met but who were very welcome into Tuskers Bar. Performance of the night has to be the duet by the Belfast lads, who marked their new acquaintances of the week with a roof-raising rendition of “I’ve got friends in low places”. A huge thanks to Chris and Mark, and also to big Phil, for joining in entering right onto the spirit of the slightly unorthodox SBCC approach to cricketA great final touch from Terry of the Malakas who presented the SBCC with a bottle of vodka to mark our maiden victory, which in itself was a fitting end to an absolutely outstanding week. It goes without saying but here goes anyway: roll on Sixes 2008…..

Finals Day - No Beaver Involvement

Big Phil olstered Beavers' batting through the week

Finals Day and there should have been a feeling of great expectation but there was general feeling of despondency in the Beaver ranks. Not only were we not competing for honours but the team was breaking up and heading for all points of the compass. After the great camaraderie built up over a week of sporting and consumption it was with great sadness that we waved goodbye to Nige and Dickie at midday.

The remaining team members slowly gathered at the ground to watch the Finals.

Bowl Final – Our new friends the Southerners played a team we had not come across, the Floggers and Robbers. Despite some enormous hitting from the boys and a commendable total of 85 they were chased down and just pipped at the post.

Plate Final – Yarrambat beat the Sugar Shack Postels. We had not really come across either of these two Aussie teams during the week. Never mind there is always next year.

Shield Final – Our neighbours at the ground the U.N Irish Pub had sufficiently recovered from their marathon 8 bottles of vodka fine session earlier in the week to beat the Tokyo Wombats in an excellent match to win the second division.

The Cup Final – What a game! This was a legendary final that had everything demanded of a top class sporting occasion. It was contested by the Gloucester Gipsies, with whom we had become very good friends over the week and the Cricketeers, a fine group of cricketers from Bangladesh and last year’s champions.
The Bangladesh boys batted first and set a very defendable total of 75. In went the Gloucester Boys and it was a see-saw innings of dramatic sporting tension.
At the beginning the Gipsies were ahead of the run rate and looked to be odds on but some very fine bowling tied them up in the middle overs. It seemed that they had too much to do in the last over in the last over but overthrows on ball number 4 gave them the tiniest chink of light.
Ten required for the win off the last 2 balls. The fifth ball was despatched to the boundary for four and the ground was hushed for the final delivery. A maximum required to win the whole championship.
The bowler put it on the spot but Dominic, who has played cricket at the highest level, was up to the task. As cool as you like he smashed the ball over mid wicket to clear the boundary rope by inches.
Pandemonium broke out in the Gipsie ranks and the crowd rose to applaud such a nailbiting victory. A feast of sporting excellence and drama by two fine teams.

The Spoon Final – Further drama was to come in our own comp the Spoon Final. The Maythais who were undefeated all week were odds on to beat our spiritual brothers and the party champions of the tournament the IOS Malakas. The Malakas fuelled by alcohol and held together with sticking plaster and cortizone following a drunken session of WWF wrestling, bowled surprisingly well to restrict the Maythais to 52.
However fine bowling by the Maythais stopped the Malakas from keeping up with the required rate and the dismissal of Max the Beast seemed to have consigned them to the runner up spot.
In a mirror of the Final 10 runs were required off the last 2 deliveries. Fortunately the crease was occupied by Marty who has been in fine form all week and who drinks and bats with the same gutsy intensity. He smashed ball 5 for an enormous six and the ground readied in anticipation of another monumental finish. Unfortunately the final delivery was a wide giving the Malakas the four they required and a deserved win.
Some great cricket on the Final day as befitting what was the most extraordinary tournament and all involved wore great smiles as we left the Gymkhana Club for the final time to prepare for the rites of the dinner and awards ceremony.

The Beavers were much depleted at the dinner Millers and Big Phil having also flown out so it was left to Begley, Jonesy, the 2 Irish Boys and Bell to represent the team. Unfortunately shambolic arrangements by the hotel led to the omission of a Beavers table and we were grateful to be given a berth and invited to join the hammock girls.

Unsurprisingly the Beavers didn’t trouble the judges at the award ceremony although there was always a faint possibility that the Voldermort incident may give us a sniff at Turd of the Tournament. However it was not to be. After the awards we took a quick trip down the clubhouse at Tuskers and then to the Sugarshack for the final knockings.

The Sa Pas were on great form and out in force. No question that they are kindred spirits with the Beavers. The Armadillos were also hitting it hard and fining people at random with their killer cocktail. However they were astonished that knocking back two in a row had no noticeable effect on Jonesy – these Beavers Girls are made of stern stuff. The Malakas were of course present and celebrating their win in their usual style by imbibing enormous amounts of any alcoholic beverage that came their way. The Beavers sent them some celebratory Sambucas which were rapidly dispatched.

Gradually as the night wore on people slipped away but we lingered not wanting to let such a monumental week slip away. In the end it was left to the best and worst of the tournament (at least in a cricketing sense) to see this great tournament week to bed. It is perhaps the message of the tournament that it is not how good you are on the pitch that counts but how you relate to your fellow competitors and all the others who are involved in the Chiang Mai Sixes. The Gipsies and Beavers united in a love of cricket and camaraderie toasting the week just past and clinging desperately to all that remained before we parted for the year.

As dawn finally began peaking over the horizon we downed the last drop of gin and headed for the gates. The Gipsies headed for bed just a few hours before their flights and we headed in search of an early breakfast feeling saddened that such a great week had come to a close. Only 356 days to go until next year!

The 2007 Stuffed Beavers

Bilko, Dickster, Beggars, Spud, Jonesy, Millers, Ajarn Mark, Gurners